With the nostalgic atmosphere suffused with the driving swing beat from a bygone era nearly a century old, I marveled at the effortless whirling and twirling of women’s dresses as the men led them with seemingly effortless aplomb.
Earlier that day, I met a stranger’s eyes with a smile as we introduced ourselves briefly before my left hand met hers in a gentle clasp while my right arm curved around her torso extending my right hand to rest on her shoulder blade framing her body with my limbs. As the music begins, I attune my body to the rhythm of the music before initiating the first step ahead. With my chest held high, my intention is transmitted through my body to hers through the mutual contact of the firm but supple frame. She responds silently to my lead and takes a step back. This gentle and rhythmic to and fro continues to the music’s pulse.
This is a recollection several years ago from a swing dancing workshop, and my reflections on how perfectly partner dancing exemplifies the archetypal principles of masculine and feminine.
In Taoist philosophy, there is yin and yang, while in Shaivism, a branch of Hindu tradition, there is the correspondence of Shiva, the divine masculine, and Shakti, the divine feminine. As I oscillated between participant and observer during the course of the dance workshop, my insights were embodied in the lead and follow mechanics that underlie partner dancing.
My experience was primed by two sources: a prior training session I had recently attended on conscious masculinity led by Satyen Raja, a remarkable individual who founded a company called WarriorSage with his equally remarkable partner Suzanne, and a book I was listening to entitled The Way Of The Superior Man, by David Deida. Deida’s entire writing, speaking and teaching career has mainly revolved around teaching just three things – the divine masculine, the divine feminine, and the countless permutations of their interplay.
Watching Satyen facilitate was fascinating – after a brief introduction, he opened up a dialogue with attendees. After fielding suggestions, topics were selected through participant engagement and in short order he extemporized the agenda of the training session.
What still resonates with me today is this framework of polarity between masculine and feminine.
The masculine principles of presence, claim and penetration meet the feminine principles of invitation, surrender and expression. To be clear, each individual is a unique and dynamic blend of both masculinity and femininity across a wide array of dimensions. And while some of these dimensions are quite stable, others are quite mutable.
Let’s use dancing to illustrate. First, I had to actually show up to the workshop – presence. I had to make myself known to a partner, thoroughly aided by the structure and context of the workshop itself – participants were there to learn swing dancing. During the open practice sessions, I would have to widen my attentive presence to notice an available dance partner, claim her by approaching, then invoke the feminine principle of invitation, “Would you like to dance?” If she responds affirmatively, I then lead her to empty space on the dance floor. I am now responsible to initiate and direct the flow of the dance with the surrender of her consent while remaining mindful of other couples so as not to bump into them. Simultaneously, in an overarching context, the dancers are surrendered to the penetrating presence of the music that sets the tempo, meter and dance forms. Once the basic step of the dance is established, it is only through the lead’s penetrating intent that the follow expresses the turns, twists and other tricks that make each dance a spontaneous improvisation of shared kinetic language between two individuals.
For the duration of a song, two becomes one.